Sometimes you just have to walk away

I have been building up to writing this post for weeks now, so here goes……

This is the tale of a role that on one hand I loved, but on the other I hated. In that role I was bullied by a member of the board who also felt it was appropriate to call my abilities into question because I was a woman and a mother! There was also a toxic work environment and sadly a culture of ignoring bad behaviour.

This had gone on for some time and I was feeling broken. But it wasn’t just me! Around the same time two other senior members of staff were on sick leave with stress related illnesses and I was very aware that other members of the team were severely unhappy.

I am feisty by nature and always keen to call things out, but I felt so broken that I just couldn’t take that on. I had talked openly on many occasions to those in positions of power about the reality of what was happening but although they sympathised, no one wanted to stand up and tackle the issues.

To me it felt that it was so ingrained in the culture that even if I had acted, it wouldn’t have made much difference.

So, I did something else that in my opinion was just as brave – I walked away. It felt hard at the time, especially as I was taking a big pay cut to do so, but it also felt like the best option. I had an opportunity to take on a new role, regroup and heal.

Healing took such a long time and perhaps I will always carry some trauma from that time around with me but looking back, I know I did the right thing. And do you know what? ……. My resilience has grown so much, I learnt so much about myself and others during that time and I truly believe that part of my career ultimately led me to where I am now.

If you are reading this and are struggling in your career or perhaps you are healing from previous experiences, I want to reassure that you will be okay in the end. You will emerge from this time having learnt lots and having grown in yourself. There will be a way forward for you – that might be walking away, it might be tackling the issue head on or finding a way to sidestep it but know that this will pass, and you will be okay.

During the difficult time that I faced I was lucky to have a few trusted colleagues around me, the support of friends and family, a great mentor and a generous buddy to turn to. I urge you to think about the professional support network you already have around you and if there are gaps in that, do consider mentoring, joining Fundraising Buddies or reaching out to those around you.

You have got this!